Wednesday, February 13, 2013

A Mother Hen, A Confidante, A Best friend

Tonight I had dinner with 3 amazing women.  3 women who have impacted my life in so many ways.   I dont think they will ever truely know how much they mean to me.  God brings people in your life and if you lucky enough to pay attention, you will learn something valuable from each one of them.

I dont think until tonight I knew just how much I missed them, and missed me. Years ago we worked together at the Police Dept. One of the most highly stressful jobs that I couldnt love more. They all taught me to stand up for myself, that my voice was important and had meaning. They taught me to trust in women again and that women dont always have to be in competition. They taught me to cook, to spell, to be honest to a fault, and they still love me eventhough they know all my secrets, my faults and always encouraged me thru every step of my life. There arent many people in life who you can truely be yourself around. I am so blessed to have them. A Mother Hen, A Confidante, A Best friend.

Dont you hate how things change?.  They rarely ever change for the better.  There are a handful of moments in ones life, that people will always wish they could go back to.  Those perfect moments, that no matter how hard you wish, or try.. you can never recreate them.  You just have to make new ones, eventhough most of the time, you arent aware you are in one.. until its over.

What Defines a person? 
Is it their job? Their station in life? Their family?

I feel like Ive spent most of my life searching for what defines me. I wonder if I will ever know.  I have had as many jobs as my age. There are only a few I truely miss.  Am I a waitress?  A medical professional? A radio Dj? A 911 Dispatcher? A photographer? A clothing merchandiser?.. A Mother?..  awe,  yes there it is..  a mother, a wife

Why is being a mother & a wife not enough for me?

When Mike and I decided I would quit my job to stay home with the children I was relieved, and excited. I sat at work and planned all the things I would do as soon as I quit my job.  I had endless lists from organizing, to learning how to sew and coupon, to being an active part of the PTA and a soccer mom.  I would run marathons, bake cookies from scratch and finally hang those pictures on the wall.

its been two years. and those pictures, still arent on the walls.
Why is it so easy to plan things, but so hard to find the time to follow through. Michael says "not everything is going to happen right now, some things take time."  I agree with him, Im impatient I dont like waiting, but what am I really waiting for.. to be someone else, or am I waiting for the energy, the perfect day where everything falls into place, the stars align and I can cross off  everything on my list. 

If I didnt own my own business would I have the time? If I didnt have 3 small chilldren would I have the time?. At 34 years old I really didnt think there would be so many questions still left unanswered.

who am I , who do I want to be, what do I want to do and would someone else for gosh sakes please help me keep the house decently clean!  :) 

 I miss being a part of something,

I love my children dearly, and I wouldnt trade one day to be at work away from them, but I do feel like I am missing something.. .

it might be my mind.. I do have 3 children.. they tend to run off with things you know..

I am a good mother, well in the sense that they are all loved, and know it.  making and having children didnt come easy for me. It was a challenge like the rest of my life as been. So they each know they were wanted,  they are all fed, and happy. Sure most days they eat cereal out of the box for breakfast, sleep on the floor during nap times and rarely wear clothes in the house,. But I hope they always know, they are all valued, wanted, respected & loved.. for everything they are. 

This Week:

Colby ruptured his ear drum..  yellow goo and puss coming out of his ear. yucko!.  we went to the zoo. it was cold, but we got to see lots of animals.
My TV caught on fire and blew up..  during my only relaxing time of the week. The computer HAS a virus.  Riley got an 8%  and a 15% on a spelling test which took his 98% down to 78% for the quarter! Ouch! 
Turtley has been overly emotional crying about everything, Colby hasnt stopped whining and wimpering for more a a few mins at a time. 
Mike went on a diet.. slim fast, Im sure he has already lost 20 lbs.. since his body is weird that way.. I lost 1 pound :)  yay!  only took me 3 weeks.
Mike let me nap today for 2 1/2 hours. and yep that is News!  It never happens!! it was a great nap I have to say.
I bought way to many cookies, so I have to make sure to give them away on thurs.
& I have 3 sessions to finish editing and a butt load scheduled next week.. Didnt I say i was going to slow down?. oh yeah that was before everything started breaking.. all I want is a vacation.. Im hoping a few group photo session days will help us get the vacation we are in need of. :)   hoping people are feeling generious lol,  but I know money is tight everywhere. oh well.
& that mean crazy girl on the bachelor went home!!..  awe.. its the little things :)  

Hoping next week is..  less dramatic :)   

2 Comments!! I love Comments!:

Amy said...

Love you.

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